Double System

What da fark?????!!!!! .........

Check this out. For those living in PJ, I am friggin sure you know what the parking system is in PJ. For those who don't know, after you park your damn car, you walk to this stupid looking machine by the road, put in coins and get a small little coupon to be placed on your car's dashboard.

Previously, it was that scratch the coupon system. You buy this card coupon and just scratch the date, time etc. Remember that stupid coupon? Reason they abolish was that people were passing the coupon around as in I will be leaving my parking spot now and I still have 45 minutes left in the coupon, so I just pass it on to the next person who parks at my spot. Under the new system, you are supposed to key in your car registration number. That is so stupid as well. Why? 'Cos most times, I get confused between my car number and my brother's car number. I cannot even remember which farking car I took out.

I just have to bitch about this. Look at the picture below. Yeah. That's right. I didn't use an old scratch coupon. I was in PJ - Jalan Tandang to be exact where all the factories are. Still don't know where? Campbell Soup? Yeo's. Old Town? Yeah. There. The parking system there is still the old scratch coupon system. I was just there last week and got summoned 'cos I didnt find a machine to buy the coupon. Instead, I learned my lesson and yesterday, I found this guy sitting underneath the big ass umbrella still selling these scratch coupons.

Go figure. As far as I know, the entire PJ is already under the new parking system. You buy your damn coupon from that machine. And now, there exists another system. Just to a specific area. I mean, what da fark were the MPPJ or now, the MBPJ councillors thinking of? I know ... let me guess, dem wankers all sat down at a meeting and decided, hey, we should change the system. Lets buy dem machines. But how many? Kira kira kira (count count count) wokay. We buy these many machines. And install them every few metres. We must make sure its convenient for the rakyat in PJ. All of a sudden .. oh fark. We don't have enough machines. Oops, We forgot. People in Old Town have cars. OR Oh shit, we forgot about Old Town - Jalan Tandang.

Or... dem wanker councillors at the time of their decision making goes ... "nah... lets not buy machines and install it all over PJ. Let's bloody confuse some of these people. Mebbe we put the coupon system in Jalan Tandang. That will be funny."

OR ...

Decision: Change Coupon System. Buy machines. And some councillors goes, "oh fark. what da fark we gonna do with these 50 million scratch coupons we have already printed?" "oh ... we have this brilliant idea .... lets make Jalan Tandang a road where you still need to use these scratch coupons ..."

And you wonder how PJ was declared City Status. Malaysia Boleh alright.

Dem Animal Movies

I've always disliked animal movies.

What animal movies? You know those stupid movies like lassie, free willy, dem horses movies etc. Dem movies where the animal is oh so damn good and nice and patriotic, saves the day, oh so cute look and all that crap. Look ... I have nothing against animals. In fact, I like them. And its not every movie with an animal in it I will dislike. Come on ... which movie doesn't have an animal, be it a person or an actual animal. Heh heh. Example, hidalgo. I like that. Smart horse. But it was all about the rider, the horse and the competition. I like Jaws too. Its nice to see smart ass sharks chomps the ass out of the people. Especially most of these jaws or croc movies would have a frisky couple humping their ass off when they get chomped on. I have always found that funny.

Its those movies where the damn dog is too friggin smart and nice. Or the cat. Or the damn horse. The whale. How many friggin times does it need to be freed? There was free willy 1, 2, 3 .... and is there 4, 5, 6, 7, 8??? Fark ... at least I know for a fact that the whale is dead. Otherwise, damn whale would be like stallone, making a come back after 20 years. Haha. If it was alive, it might be taking steroids as well and get caught in australian waters and then it will be free willy no. VII or something like that. Hahahahahahaha

Ah ... the one I hate the most, the friggin most is those movies where the damn ape seems to be able to do everything. Football, snooker, basketball, snowboarding etc. What da fark was that all about?

Why the dislike? Blame it on a difficult childhood. When I was a kid .... and if any of these movies were on tv, my parents would always have this to say, "see, even animals (dog, cat, chimps, sharks, crocodiles, horse etc) can be trained and be obedient. why can't you?"

Now you see why?

Contractors

I am sure that most of you guys have watched Phua Chu Kang and for those whom have dealt with contractors, I am also very sure you will know what I am talking about.

I am searching for contractors to do some minor renovations at my crib. Believe me, its very very minor. Basically to repaint and to knock out a bath tub. And my crib has one of those "open" room concept ... a family area as they called it. I wanted to just cover it up, put a door and use that as an extra room.

I spoke to many contractors and finally narrowed down my choices to 2 contractors. 1, a chinaman. 2nd - a Singh. Yup ... its not everyday I find a singh contractor. Yeah, yeah yeah ... I am very shallow. But come on ... I am sure that when I say contractor, a chinaman will come into your mind. Right?

Anyway, the Singh was the first to arrive at the scene. He was very nice, told me exactly what he will do and how he will try to make the bathroom look more comfortable. Example, knocking out the tub and placing a screen door but he did mention that it will be very cramped. He made various suggestions including using tempered glass instead of a sliding screen door. But ... definitely all the tiles must go.

Next was the chinaman contractor. Now this guy is cool .... Doesn't wear those big yellow boots but he still wore boots. Comes walking in with a swagger and asked me what I want. I told him what I want and he started walking around looking at my crib.

Contractor: So what paint you want?

Me: Errr... what would you recommend?

Contractor: Got nice one. Got cheap one. Got expensive one. So what do you want?

Me: Errr... what choices do I have?

Contractor: Aya ... got perl go (pearl glo), pentalite, maxilite ...

I thought to myself ... pentalite? maxilite? farks ... what is this? sounds like weight reducing program in those slimming spas.

Me: Which one is nice?

Contractor: ALL oso nice. Plice only different.

Me: oh ....

Contractor: Maxilite lah. Vely cheap. Vely nice. I cover 2 layers. Sure nice wan.

Me: ok ...

We walked to the bathroom.

Contractor: Ah ok. Take out long bath? Can.

Me: Ok. I want to put a screen door.

Contractor: Can can

Me: Would it be too cramp?

Contractor: No lah. Can wan. See. Put here. Up to here. (Then he climbed into the bath tub and stood there with his arms up) See... still got space wan. U wash hair careful a bit lah.

Me: Wah ... I think a bit cramp leh

Contractor: No lah. That that hotel oso same wat.

Me: Ok ... what about tiling

Contractor: Ah ... all these tiles no more alredi. Must get new ones

Me: But I am on a budget

Contractor: Ah don't wohlly. I put screen door. Inside screen door here I use different style tile. Sure nice wan. Now everyone oso do like dat. Different tiles. Very nice wan

Me: Huh? Different tiles?

Contractor: Yah lah. Nice wan. Don't wohlly.

I thought to myself ... man ... I am farked.

We went over to the open room. Told him what I wanted.

Contractor: Ah ok. So what door you want?

Me: Erm ... ?

Contractor: Aya... wooden door? glass door? sliding door? plastic door. you want what door I put what door lah.

Me: Errr .... which would be nicer?

Contractor: All oso nice. See lah what you want. I put nice door for you.

Damn ... this is going to be tough.

Me: Ok... what about wooden door.

Contractor: Ah ok. You want or not? I put half glass on top of door. Can see through. Wah like dat sure nice wan.

Me: Huh? No no no. Just door will do. No need glass all.

Contractor: Ok. Then the wall i make for you to cover room. You want brick wall, board or wood or what? I put nice big glass oso on wall. Can see thru like office window like dat.

Me: Errr.... no. wall will be fine. no need window.

Contractor: Ok. what color?

Sighs .... I should have just hired an interior design instead...