Contractors

I am sure that most of you guys have watched Phua Chu Kang and for those whom have dealt with contractors, I am also very sure you will know what I am talking about.

I am searching for contractors to do some minor renovations at my crib. Believe me, its very very minor. Basically to repaint and to knock out a bath tub. And my crib has one of those "open" room concept ... a family area as they called it. I wanted to just cover it up, put a door and use that as an extra room.

I spoke to many contractors and finally narrowed down my choices to 2 contractors. 1, a chinaman. 2nd - a Singh. Yup ... its not everyday I find a singh contractor. Yeah, yeah yeah ... I am very shallow. But come on ... I am sure that when I say contractor, a chinaman will come into your mind. Right?

Anyway, the Singh was the first to arrive at the scene. He was very nice, told me exactly what he will do and how he will try to make the bathroom look more comfortable. Example, knocking out the tub and placing a screen door but he did mention that it will be very cramped. He made various suggestions including using tempered glass instead of a sliding screen door. But ... definitely all the tiles must go.

Next was the chinaman contractor. Now this guy is cool .... Doesn't wear those big yellow boots but he still wore boots. Comes walking in with a swagger and asked me what I want. I told him what I want and he started walking around looking at my crib.

Contractor: So what paint you want?

Me: Errr... what would you recommend?

Contractor: Got nice one. Got cheap one. Got expensive one. So what do you want?

Me: Errr... what choices do I have?

Contractor: Aya ... got perl go (pearl glo), pentalite, maxilite ...

I thought to myself ... pentalite? maxilite? farks ... what is this? sounds like weight reducing program in those slimming spas.

Me: Which one is nice?

Contractor: ALL oso nice. Plice only different.

Me: oh ....

Contractor: Maxilite lah. Vely cheap. Vely nice. I cover 2 layers. Sure nice wan.

Me: ok ...

We walked to the bathroom.

Contractor: Ah ok. Take out long bath? Can.

Me: Ok. I want to put a screen door.

Contractor: Can can

Me: Would it be too cramp?

Contractor: No lah. Can wan. See. Put here. Up to here. (Then he climbed into the bath tub and stood there with his arms up) See... still got space wan. U wash hair careful a bit lah.

Me: Wah ... I think a bit cramp leh

Contractor: No lah. That that hotel oso same wat.

Me: Ok ... what about tiling

Contractor: Ah ... all these tiles no more alredi. Must get new ones

Me: But I am on a budget

Contractor: Ah don't wohlly. I put screen door. Inside screen door here I use different style tile. Sure nice wan. Now everyone oso do like dat. Different tiles. Very nice wan

Me: Huh? Different tiles?

Contractor: Yah lah. Nice wan. Don't wohlly.

I thought to myself ... man ... I am farked.

We went over to the open room. Told him what I wanted.

Contractor: Ah ok. So what door you want?

Me: Erm ... ?

Contractor: Aya... wooden door? glass door? sliding door? plastic door. you want what door I put what door lah.

Me: Errr .... which would be nicer?

Contractor: All oso nice. See lah what you want. I put nice door for you.

Damn ... this is going to be tough.

Me: Ok... what about wooden door.

Contractor: Ah ok. You want or not? I put half glass on top of door. Can see through. Wah like dat sure nice wan.

Me: Huh? No no no. Just door will do. No need glass all.

Contractor: Ok. Then the wall i make for you to cover room. You want brick wall, board or wood or what? I put nice big glass oso on wall. Can see thru like office window like dat.

Me: Errr.... no. wall will be fine. no need window.

Contractor: Ok. what color?

Sighs .... I should have just hired an interior design instead...