Last week I got to select my throne. I bet not all of you get to select your own throne. Right? Anyway, it was on that beautiful day where all the planets, moons and stars were aligned I went to choose my throne. I figured, how difficult can it be? I can be so friggin wrong …
For my throne selection, my wifey, Bunny tagged along. Of course lah, choose throne must bring your wifey along mah. Besides, she has better color coordination than me. Oh wait, since I am color blind, I have zero color coordination skills.
We walked into the shop and the sales attendant immediately attended to us. Asking us what do we want. I told her I am looking for my throne and she gave me dis “duhhhhhh” look. Bunny cut in and said, we are looking for water closets for our house. Ohhhh… here here, these are our range, we have johnson Suisse, armitage shanks …. She went on and on and showed us to the various models and designs …
Wow… never in my life I thought a shit bowl would come in so many designs and shapes. But honestly … I couldn’t really tell the difference. All of them looks the same to me unless the shape is really different. So how do you choose your personal throne? Do what I did, sit on each and everyone and try. Some hole damn big. Some hole damn small. Some the rims not so comfy when you sit on it. Some makes u feel like you are sliding off the rim. Some hole so big you sit damn kangkang with your balls dangling over the shit. You gotta check out the contours of the bowl so that it fits the contours of your ass. All this is so that you can shit easy. Haha
Anyway … the moral of the story is, you have to friggin sit on them and test see if comfy or not. Some of the bowls have signs that says, “Please do not seat”. So how? Cannot “test drive” lah like that. I can’t be doing the horse stance over the damn bowl right? Remember, when I say “test drive” doesn’t mean you take a shit there ok. Besides, with so many toilet bowls, how much shit you have lah? Unless you can control your shit, each bowl you poop one small shit out. Hahahahaha
But seriously … after a few “test drives” seating on those friggin bowls to see if I was comfy with them, I started to feel like I want to shit. Actually have to rest a bit and hold back my shit. Heehee
After “test driving” the bowls, Bunny asked, “so? Are you happy yet? Which one you want?”
Me: Wait wait. Got some more test.
Bunny: What test lah?
Me: I need to kneel down and hug the bowl …”
Bunny: WHAAAAAAAT???????!!!!
Me: Well, sometimes or most times when I drink too much I would be barfing. So I want to know if its comfortable or not hugging it or placing my cheek against the rim and see if it will slip off and …
Before I can finish, Bunny went, “ok ok. Sheesh … I can’t believe I am saying this .. go and test lah. And be quick! And I am not standing near you. If anyone asks .. I don’t know you.”
Haha.
For my throne selection, my wifey, Bunny tagged along. Of course lah, choose throne must bring your wifey along mah. Besides, she has better color coordination than me. Oh wait, since I am color blind, I have zero color coordination skills.
We walked into the shop and the sales attendant immediately attended to us. Asking us what do we want. I told her I am looking for my throne and she gave me dis “duhhhhhh” look. Bunny cut in and said, we are looking for water closets for our house. Ohhhh… here here, these are our range, we have johnson Suisse, armitage shanks …. She went on and on and showed us to the various models and designs …
Wow… never in my life I thought a shit bowl would come in so many designs and shapes. But honestly … I couldn’t really tell the difference. All of them looks the same to me unless the shape is really different. So how do you choose your personal throne? Do what I did, sit on each and everyone and try. Some hole damn big. Some hole damn small. Some the rims not so comfy when you sit on it. Some makes u feel like you are sliding off the rim. Some hole so big you sit damn kangkang with your balls dangling over the shit. You gotta check out the contours of the bowl so that it fits the contours of your ass. All this is so that you can shit easy. Haha
Anyway … the moral of the story is, you have to friggin sit on them and test see if comfy or not. Some of the bowls have signs that says, “Please do not seat”. So how? Cannot “test drive” lah like that. I can’t be doing the horse stance over the damn bowl right? Remember, when I say “test drive” doesn’t mean you take a shit there ok. Besides, with so many toilet bowls, how much shit you have lah? Unless you can control your shit, each bowl you poop one small shit out. Hahahahaha
But seriously … after a few “test drives” seating on those friggin bowls to see if I was comfy with them, I started to feel like I want to shit. Actually have to rest a bit and hold back my shit. Heehee
After “test driving” the bowls, Bunny asked, “so? Are you happy yet? Which one you want?”
Me: Wait wait. Got some more test.
Bunny: What test lah?
Me: I need to kneel down and hug the bowl …”
Bunny: WHAAAAAAAT???????!!!!
Me: Well, sometimes or most times when I drink too much I would be barfing. So I want to know if its comfortable or not hugging it or placing my cheek against the rim and see if it will slip off and …
Before I can finish, Bunny went, “ok ok. Sheesh … I can’t believe I am saying this .. go and test lah. And be quick! And I am not standing near you. If anyone asks .. I don’t know you.”
Haha.
2 comments:
ah what ever it is ... your throne is not complete until you have one of these babies installed in your throne room ...
ah better yet ... you should get one of those hi-tech japanese thrones with all sort of cool buttons like this. Just be careful not to press the automatic tampon remover button.
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