Ramblings of a Mad Cow

Moo moo.

Moo mooo mooo moo moo moo. Moo moo moo mooooo moooo moo moo. Moo? Moo moo moo!!! Moo moo moo moo mooooooo .... Moo moo moo moooo moooo mooooooo mooo, moo moo moo mooooo moo moo.

Moo mooo mooo moo. Moo moo moo moo moo moooo ooooo moo moo moo moooo mooo mooo mooooo moooo mooooooo ooooo. Mooo moo moo moo MOO MOO! Moo moo mooo mooo.

Moo mooo moo moooo mooos!

Moo moo.

LOL!!!!!

Newspaper

Fark! Tibai! Lan Ciau! Kan ni na bu chau chee bye! Puki tiang!

What a lousy morning! Its a cold and wet morning. This morning as I stepped out of my house, my face was smacked by newspaper. Mah hai!

My house is an end lot. So after I locked my door and walked towards the gate, I heard this motorbike sound at the lorong beside my house. I couldn't see it yet as there is a wall there. The wall only goes halfway and thereafter, its fence all the way. Just after I passed the wall, I got this bundle of newspaper thrown right smack into my face! Puki mak! I was so farking pissed I grabbed the newspaper and flung it back at the motorbike fella. Fark! Becos' he was on a motorbike, not only I missed him, damn rubber band that bound the newspaper broke and all the pages of the newspaper got strewn all over the road. Mah hai!

Then to my farking horrror, I remembered that that newspaper was delivered to my dad. Every morning, this puki tait delivery guy would just speed by on his motorbike and flung the papers into the porch. Somehow our timing clashed today and since he was so used to just flinging the papers into the house, he didn't think someone would be standing there. Tiu nia seng that fella.

Not only my face kena smack by papers, I have to pick up all the wet pages strewn all over the road and now kena buy another copy of the newspaper for my dad. FARK!

Tomorrow morning I shall wait behind the wall and when that puki mak fella comes by, I will jump out and let out a blood curling scream at him. Hope he'll farking lose balance and fall into the longkang by the lorong.

Photo

I needed some passport size photo of myself for some application forms. Since I was so friggin busy and refusing to pay any more money, I dug out a film negative of a passport photo which I took about 3 years ago. I mean, how much changes could have taken place in the past 3 years. Not that I've had some accident that scarred my face or had plastic surgery. Even if I have the money for plastic surgery, I will probably spend it on making my dick bigger, longer and stronger like a jackhammer LOL!!!!

Like I said, I was busy and knowing my bro was going to run some errands, I asked him to drop the negative off to be developed.

That night when I got back home from work....

Bro: Oi!

Me: What?

Bro: Fulamak! When da fark was the photo taken lah?

Me: Fark. 3 years ago only wat? Why? Cannot develop ah?

Bro: Tibai. Farking embarassing lah.

Me: What? My photo embarassing? Puki mak that fella. Who said my photo embarassing?

Bro: Not that lah. I went to 3 shops. ALL 3 shops stared at the negative macam that thing come from outer space!

Me: Fark. Why lah? The negative got kulat on it is it?

Bro: Nolah farker. All 3 shops said "wahhhhh boss, still got negative wan ah? never see this for loooong time alredi. now all digital. we don't even have the machines to develop this negatives anymore"

Bro: Farking embarassing lah. Stop being so stingy. Go and farking take a new photo can or not.

Me: LOL!!!! Ok Ok.