Thursday, May 26, 2005

Beer Ramblings II

If you are going to shag your girlfriend or your mistress or if you are going to do anything naughty, would you tell your wife or your other half where you would be going to do it? No? Wrong! Always tell the truth. Wait!!! Don't you farkers diss me on this. Hear me out.
Look, if for an example, you are going to shag your mistress at the most romantic and impressive hotel in Port Dickson. What would you tell your wife? Some guys would say, dear, I have a golf game in Melaka and we guys might stay over after the game cause it will finish late and we would probably be too drunk to drive home. She would probably say yes dear, hope you have a good game. If she says it happily, then you better be worried too.
Anyway, the point is, if for some shitty luck, your wife's best friends (you know, those typical kepoh bitches friends of hers) whom might be having a dirty weekend out with another guy or a gigolo at the same hotel saw you with another chick instead of your wife. You didn't see her but she saw you. Even though she was shagging someone else instead of her boyfriend or her husband, she'll put a call thru to your wife and tells your wife that she saw you in a hotel in Port Dickson. Even worse, your wife's sister was having a dirty weekend and saw you there instead.
Now, if you had told your wife that you are playing golf in Melaka, you are farked! But if you had told her earlier that you will be in that certain hotel in Port Dickson for a conference or whatever, your wife would probably tell those farking back stabbers, yeah, I know he's there. Or, if she asks you, you can always say, yeah, I told you earlier that I will be there.
BUT ... if you were already groping and necking with your mistress in the hotel lobby ... that one a bit more difficult to explain to your wife ...

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

The Lembu is Back!

Hey guys, M back. For those who checked out the website and there are no updates, my apologies. I hope you guys would continue to check out the Lembu's Blogs.
Coming back from a holiday sucks big time. I only took 2 days off work and I have tons of emails and phone calls waiting for me to reply or respond when I got back. Fark!
I even have farking clients who being a sarki (sarcastic) bastard put in an email with words like, wah, such a nice long holiday for you. hope you have enough fun and rest already. please get this done for me urgently. i actually need them yesterday but you had to be on leave.
fark! there are other clients who knows that a long weekend is coming up but they will farking call you lah at 5.30pm on a friday and tells you that they need something done by tuesday. So what the fark does that mean? No long weekend lah. Tibai betuih.
Sighs, I gotta go get work done now. Hope to be able to blog again soon.

Thursday, May 19, 2005

Meet the Parents

Remember the first time you have to meet your girlfriend’s parents? Haha. To most guys, that’s the most dreaded moment. The mere thought of having to behave is bad enough.

My experience in meeting the parents. I was interrogated by everyone in the family. Then they decided to take me to eat seafood. Fark. This is the worse meal to have when you meet other people for the first time. Imagine using your hands peeling of prawns. Eating crabs. How can you behave and look well mannered when eating crabs? When you eat crabs, you have to eat like a barbarian!

Anyway, I’m going back to the Phils tomorrow. This time, its to meet the extended family. Sighs … I am sure there are more horror stories to blog about.

I can blog more about meet the parents especially on how barbaric I was with the crabs but I am so bogged down with work … I have to clear them before I go off on my holiday. In the meantime, the blogs will also be on holiday. Hope to be able to blog about the monsters that I will be meeting by next week,

Since it’s a long weekend, Happy Holidays guys. By the way, wish me luck in Meet the Parents again and Meet the Extended Family.