My Kiasu Experience

I arrived in Singapore last night. Actually it was a couple of hours ago. But its 1am now so I guess I arrived last night. As Einstein said, time is a relative thing. I am in Singapore for business and by the looks of it, there is no time for leisure. I contacted that tibai accountant Dave and he said to crash at his place. That's where the bad news start. I thought Dave and I could hang out somewhere and get smashed but tibai Dave was sick. I was at Holland Village and tibai Dave said he will be late 'cos he is sick.

I waited until about 10pm when he asked me to meet him at Silver Cross. I thought, COOL!! must be some watering hole with a lot of chikkies. Sadly, it was a 24hour clinic. TIBAI. Met him at the clinic with me lugging my luggage. He looked pretty sick and was moaning and groaning. He was even walking KANGKANG. Come to think of it, he was with SirLen aka Barney the other night. Must have something to do with the fuzzy tail. HAHAHAHA. But the doc told him he got gastric flu. I told that tibai dave TEH HALIA would do the trick.

After the doctor, tibai dave's fren drove his car back to her place. (She drove him to the clinic). Then that tibai accountant asked me to drive his chick magnet, a 2-door Renault Megane Coupe back to his apartment. I thought cool, I get to drive in Singapore. On the way back that TIBAI ACCOUNTANT FARTED IN HIS CAR!!!! GOD!!!!!!!!!!! The fumes! The gas! The SMELL!!! Mah hai! It was like a farking gas chamber in the car. You could kill a herd of elephants in there. I was searching desperately for the buttons to wind down the windows. I was so close to breaking the windows out of desperation. With the windows down, I had to drive with my head sticking outside. Fark! Damn STINKO!!!

Later at his apartment, he ran into his toilet and delivered the mother of all farts. Can hear him shitting his guts out as well. You hear the flush and then he opens the toilet door. I gagged. I was in the other room but I still gagged. Choked. Farker must have ate a decomposed triceratops for lunch. Singapore should just send all the death row inmates in here to be sentenced. Death by lethal gas. Fart gas.

After shower and changed, I got online again to blog. But that tibai accountant was trying very hard to play host even though he was sick. Quite a good host I would say but that tibai fell asleep in the guest room. Farker is now snoring like a triceratops. Tibais....