Food Poisoning

Ever notice that every time you get a stomach ache due to food poisoning, its always in the middle of the night? That familiar pain the stomach? It's always in the middle of the friggin nite. Whenever that happens ... shit will fly. Heh heh.

Most of the time, you will just feel that damn pain in the stomach. Your eyes will still be closed. But your half asleep brain tells you ... oh shit!. You choose to ignore it, telling yourself it will go away. Another half hour, the pain is more intense. This time your eyes will be wide opened. You start swearing and cursing. What da fark did I eat just now? Farking mamak must've used a road kill kambing for his sup kambing. Puki tait that fella. You look at your clock. 3am. Never mind. Go back to sleep. You desperately need your rest. You drift off to sleep.

4am. The pain is really intense. Shit! Yeah... that's right. Shit. You jump out of bed and drag that groggy ass of yours to the toilet and let it all out. First the shit. Flows out of your ass as if you were pissing shit. Then the gas. The echoes in your throne can be heard throughout the entire house. You flushed and cleaned up. 410am. Farks. You lie down in bed again. 4.30am. Shit Shit Shit. You run back into the toilet. This time, not so much shit. But still as bad. Flush and clean up again. Back to bed ... 445am. TIU .... you run back into the toilet and you let it rip. Farks. Where did all this shit come from, you wonder? After you are done, you give up on going back to bed in your PJs or your whatever clothes you wear to bed. Draped only in your towel you drift off to sleep again. 5am ... AAAAAAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!! You are back in the toilet. This time, after flushing, you choose to sleep on your throne. You get that familiar pain again. You start shitting with your eyes closed and your mind groggy.

By day break, you probably have shat more times that you shit in one week. Your legs are rubbery. Your ass hurts from all that friggin toilet paper. Feels like its been butt farked by a dildo wrapped in sand paper. No more toilet paper. Just hose your stinking ass after each shit. You shower but can't help feeling that shitty smell still clings on to you. You go to a doctor. He gives you a prescription. Jams up your system. You stop shitting for the next 5 days. Now you have a HUGE problem getting your shit to come out. Sup kambing again? Sighs ...