Kerengga

Blogging about being Stung brought back memories of that puki tait Kerengga. If you don't know what a farking Kerengga is, its that big huge mutha farking red commando ant you find on all rambutan trees. Yeah, that's the one. The one with pincers so farking big it can rip your bloody balls off. Kidding. Well, unless of course you have really small balls ... Anyway, back to my commando Kerengga. Why I called them commandoes? These tibai bastards can frigging jump off the rambutan tree without parachutes or wings just so that they can land at the back of your neck or into your shirt and start chomping away. Their bravery for jumping off these rambutan trees must be lauded. Their accuracy for landing at the back of your neck or just into your shirt is also phenomenal.

There was once I stopped by my macha's house and his rambutan tree was full of red juicy rambutans. But, my macha said he doesn't have the cutter, so must climb a bit. I said no need, just pass me a parang (machete) and I started flinging the parang at the rambutans as if I was throwing a boomerang. After a few throws, I could not reach the really juicy looking rambutans way up in the tree. I started climbing the tree admist warnings of the dreadful Kerengga. After cutting down enought rambutans, I climbed back down. I stuffed all the rambutans onto my "cub-chai" (motorcycle) basket and thanking my macha, I rode off happily towards home.

Halfway speeding home, I felt something bit me at my thighs. Fark! And I was wearing jeans some more. Puki tait fella bit so farking close to my balls too!!! And it wasn't a small bite. Bastard took a huge munch on my thighs, made me jumped on my motorcycle and almost crashed my motorcyle into a longkang. I had to swat my thighs really hard and scratched the part where the puki tait fella bit me hoping that farker would've died. I steadied my bike and continued to tekan home when the puki tait fella was like Rambo like that. Still cannot die!!! Bastard took another bite. Mah hai lan ciau. I whacked my thighs harder taking careful aim not to whack my balls as well while riding my motorcycle racing home. Once I reached my house, I took off my pants faster than you farkers taking off your pants in front of a naked angelina.