Tongkat Ali

The recent news on the commandoes rescuing the 4 boys in Frasers Hill brought back some fond memories of tracking and hiking into deep jungles with the commandoes. I went for a couple of jungle survival hike and my instructors were these two psycho commandoes. I can’t reveal which uniformed unit they are from but they were the best there is and all the stories about their prowess and abilities are true. That I can verify and tell you.

I had a lot of fun learning from them. The hikes and climbs were grueling but it was fun learning how to do all the stupid stuff like tracking a tiger. Don’t ask me what the fark we were thinking of but yup, when we saw tiger tracks, we followed it instead. LOL!!!

During one of the climbs, one of the commandoes stopped me and pointed to a little plant and said that’s the real Tongkat Ali. Now you all know the Tongkat Ali is a root that supposedly will make you shag like the energizer bunny the whole friggin night. I thought he was joking but he dug up the root and said, if I brought it back to KL, I can get easily 300 bucks for it ‘cos it’s the real thing. I whistled and he laughed. Instead, he will make soup for us that night. Soup???!!! Tongkat Ali in the jungle??? What da fark? What if I get a hard on? I hump monkeys is it?

We reached the peak of the mountain that night and true enough, that gila bastard went and cut up the root and made soup out of it. He gave me a mess tin full of it to drink and I drank it all up. Did I get a hard on that night? NO! How da fark you wanna get a hard on in the middle of a jungle? This is not Viagra you know.

But one thing I can tell you about the damn Tongkat Ali. I was farking hot after that. There I was. On a mountain peak. Supposedly to be friggin cold freezing my balls off. The winds were friggin strong too. But I was so farking hot, I had to sleep outside my tent and I was only in my shorts and t-shirt. I didn’t even farking use the sleeping bag. I slept in the open air the whole friggin nite. And the best part was, we were still tracking the tiger and its tracks were nearby!

Now, how da fark does being so farking hot and burning up inside will help you in your shagging capabilities? Can someone friggin tell me?