Ass Wipe

For Iceman's wedding, we attended a pre-nup dinner at a Chinese Restaurant in town. The restaurant was located in a mall and we all agreed to meet up first before going into the restaurant. When all of us arrived, we went to buy champagne and while we were browsing the liquor section of the supermarket I noticed a spot of white stain at the back of Cicak's pants. The location of the white stain was exactly at the center of his ass ...

Me: ey Cicak, what's with the white stain at the back?

Cicak: Huh? Where?

Everyone looked at where I pointed and started laughing. Cicak turned around to look but he could not see the stain ...

Me: shit, looks like someone came onto it and it all dried up. LOL!!!!

Black: LOL!!! ey cicak, you have been taking it up your ass haven't you?

Cicak: Fark you guys lah. Ey, seriously lah, how bad is it?

Wor Siong: How serious? Dei! Looks like an elephant came onto your ass lah! LOL!!!

Cicak looked shit worried. As friends, we weren't of much help. In fact, we were making the situation worse with the loud laughter and the occassion pointing to his ass or squatting down and parting the folds of his pants to take a better look at the stain. From a distance, it looked as if we were parting his ass cheeks and peering into the black hole and beyond. LOL!!! And Cicak was making things much worse with his worried look and he kept trying to look at his ass but could not see the stain. He was like one of those mongrels chasing after its own tail. Realising he could not see the stain, he started asking us with a sad and serious face to go with him to the toilet which we refused. After much red faced laughing ...

Me: Ok ok ... enuff. we would be late for dinner. why don't you guys go pay for the champagne and I will go with Cicak to the toilet.

Once in the toilet, Cicak stood with his back facing the mirror at the basins and I pointed out the stain to him. He stared with wide eyed horror. "How da fark did that get there?" I laughed even louder when he said that. Between laughters I said, "That's a lot of cum you know ..". "Fark you lah" was the reply. I was laughing so hard I could only hold my stomach. Just then, Cicak grabbed some tissues and wet the tissues with water from the tap and started to wipe his pants furiously, attempting to get rid of the stain. But it just made me laugh more. Wet white colored tissues rubbing on black slacks. It made the stain worse!!! Realising he just made it worse, he turned to me, "ey Lembu. help-lah! don't just laugh laugh there"

I looked around for cloth but there was none. Sighing, I took out my handkerchief. "Ey pundek, after this, you are keeping this handkerchief!" Cicak just muttered, "fasterlah!" With that, Cicak turned to face the mirror, hands strecthed out on the basin standing with a stance as if he was about ready to be butt farked. I placed the handkerchief under the running water and squatted behind him and started to wipe the stain off.

While I was wiping the stain off, this old makcik (the cleaner lady) walked into the toilet. When she saw us, her wides went wide and her jaw dropped. The pail she was holding was also dropped on the floor with a loud clattering noise. She stared at us. We stared at her. After a moment of silence, she said, "Maaf ya? I tak nampak apa-apa" and she hurried back out without even taking her pail.

Realising how bad the situation was, we started laughing and calling out loudly to the cleaner lady, "Oi Makcik, tak ada apa-apalah. Makcik boleh masuk". But Makcik was gone. She took off as if she seen two gay ghosts. LOL!!!!