I am a sucker for monster movies or horror/thriller movies like I know what you farking did last summer or final destination. Especially those B-grade types. Its not that I have a bad taste in movies but I just find these movies funny. They make me laugh. And because they make me laugh, it entertains me.
To make a monster movie:-
1. All the monsters are so friggin fake. From sharks to sotongs to crocodiles to jeepers creepers. They are all damn farking fake. I always have a laugh whenever the monster shows itself.
2. There is never enough blood and gore. I mean, each time someone gets stabbed, or slashed or eaten, where were all the blood and gore? How come there are no brains and guts spilling all over the place? They should be more realistic.
3. Ever notice that 99% of the victims are teenagers? Most of the teenage chicks in this flicks look damn horny and hot but most get eaten or killed together with the horny pricks in the movies. Always left behind, exactly one teenage boy and one chick who rides off to the sunset happily farking away cos the rest of their friends died. My conclusion, if you are horny and hot looking, you will die in a monster movie. And teenagers meat are the most tender and juiciest. That’s why they get eaten.
4. At the end of the movie, there’s always a short glimpse that the monster still lives somehow or somewhere, most times, thru’ a baby monster.
5. Other than the supernatural monsters, most monsters are a result of mutation. Even a cute hamster can be a monster, just add some a drop of toxic waste, a dash of nuclear waste, sprinkle some uranium and plutonium, shuv ‘em up the hamster’s ass and voila, you get a monster hamster running around stomping the shit out of all the human beings running aimlessly in downtown somewhere.
But it makes me laugh especially when the people die. Tickles me to watch the teenage pricks get bitten and eaten. Especially scenes when half of their body is in the jaws of a monster and they are screaming away. LOL. So funny. No wonder monster like to eat them that way. The meat tastes better when there’s adrenalin pumping. Final Destination is also a classic entertainment. When the bus rammed into the guy, I found it funny. Was in stitches at every scene.
To make a monster movie:-
1. All the monsters are so friggin fake. From sharks to sotongs to crocodiles to jeepers creepers. They are all damn farking fake. I always have a laugh whenever the monster shows itself.
2. There is never enough blood and gore. I mean, each time someone gets stabbed, or slashed or eaten, where were all the blood and gore? How come there are no brains and guts spilling all over the place? They should be more realistic.
3. Ever notice that 99% of the victims are teenagers? Most of the teenage chicks in this flicks look damn horny and hot but most get eaten or killed together with the horny pricks in the movies. Always left behind, exactly one teenage boy and one chick who rides off to the sunset happily farking away cos the rest of their friends died. My conclusion, if you are horny and hot looking, you will die in a monster movie. And teenagers meat are the most tender and juiciest. That’s why they get eaten.
4. At the end of the movie, there’s always a short glimpse that the monster still lives somehow or somewhere, most times, thru’ a baby monster.
5. Other than the supernatural monsters, most monsters are a result of mutation. Even a cute hamster can be a monster, just add some a drop of toxic waste, a dash of nuclear waste, sprinkle some uranium and plutonium, shuv ‘em up the hamster’s ass and voila, you get a monster hamster running around stomping the shit out of all the human beings running aimlessly in downtown somewhere.
But it makes me laugh especially when the people die. Tickles me to watch the teenage pricks get bitten and eaten. Especially scenes when half of their body is in the jaws of a monster and they are screaming away. LOL. So funny. No wonder monster like to eat them that way. The meat tastes better when there’s adrenalin pumping. Final Destination is also a classic entertainment. When the bus rammed into the guy, I found it funny. Was in stitches at every scene.
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