Monday, April 11, 2005

AvP Part II

The second battle has the alien species underestimating the Predators’ physical abilities. Making ridiculous demands, they wanted the leader of the Predators, Cicak King to shag 100 of them in one minute (kidding, it wasn’t easy to understand alien tongue). Actually to do 100 push ups in one minute. Obviously these aliens have been falsely mispresented that doing 100 push ups in one minute do not mean getting 100 thrusts in one minute. The aliens were made to see the error of their delusions and accepted a combined effort of the predators … 100 push ups in one minute which was done without the predators breaking a sweat. Then the aliens have not seen predators’ jumping prowess and requested that the predators do 100 jumping jacks. Knowing that the aliens would want to assessed the predators’ jumping capabilities, the predators did little hops and miscounted the jumps. It was obvious that the aliens couldn’t count and believed that the jumps were correct. Upon completing the jumps, the Predators charged through the first barricade and broke the first line of defence. The second battle was won by the Predators.

At the second line of defence, we saw a huge container contained ice cubes and water. The aliens must’ve thought that Predators can’t withstand cold. They should’ve watched Predator 2 where our brother Predator was hiding in huge refrigerated meat holder. Dumb aliens. They have not learned the art of war. They do not know their enemy. At the second barricade, the predators were made to eat an elongated yellowish substance called the banana. To the aliens, they thought a bunch of bananas would represent love. These aliens are weirder than the predators thought. Thinking that it will at least deter the predators from attacking, the aliens added green substances called wasabi onto the bananas and before the wasabi coated bananas were given to the predators, the bananas were snatched from the aliens grasp and quickly devoured by the predators. Some of the bananas were also stolen from the aliens and hidden among the predators.

Frustrated, the aliens asked the predators to sing words of their evil tongue and again, the predators did this without a problem. Breaking through the second line of defence, the aliens were pushed back to the last barricade. With only inches opened and as an old yoda looking like creature spoke in alien tongue to one of the imperial guards, the predators charged and broke down the barrier throwing the helpless imperial guard a few feet back. The predators let out another war cry. The aliens’ last line of defence is down. The war was won by the Predators. The queen alien sits alone to be captured by Cicak King. Leaving the Cicak King to deal with the queen alien, the predators filed out of the base only to be confronted by the defeated Chee Muis. The Chee Muis realized that they have forgotten their token called Ang Paus. Never in the history of such battles have the Chee Muis forgotten to claim their ang paus. This bunch of Chee Mui aliens must be freshly recruited soldiers. Not only they lost the war, but they lost the ang pau as well. Losers.

The predators refused to release the ang paus. Instead, if the aliens want it, they need to work for it. And since they think bananas are a symbol of love, they were asked to deepthroat the bananas which were stolen from them. Each of the aliens were given a banana and instead of deep throating them, they bit off half of the banana before deep throating itl. Obviously, these aliens’ can’t handle long obiects. They have really small mouths. After eating the bananas, the aliens wanted the ang pau but was totally ignored by the predators whom told the aliens to claim from the Cicak King after he has finished with the queen alien. With that, the predators left the alien base to cheer and celebrate on their victory.

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