I have a bunch of friends who find me useful as an alibi. Whenever this farkers go out and farking fool around, they’ll tell their other halves that they were out drinking with me. Farkers. I don’t mind them doing that to me but, if you farkers are reading this, please, farking tell me first i.e before you go farking around, not after.
I have been providing this kind of services way back in high school. Pundek friend of mine has freaking loads of girlfriends back in high school. But the problem wasn’t the chicks. But his mum. Kononnya, his mum knows his hormones are raging and she is desperately trying to make sure dat pundek farker doesn’t become a father at the age of 16. So everytime that pundek goes out with a chick, he tells the mum he is at my place studying. I never knew about it until one day, his mum called up and asked to speak to him. I went, huh? He’s not here. Bocor Rahsia … but I learned fast from that lesson. Too fast perhaps, now that all my friends are using me as an alibi.
Not too long ago, another pundek had a secret rendezvous with a chick. On Monday morning he called me up at work and said …
Him: ey farker ….
Me: ey, wassup?
Him: ey, if anyone ask you, especially you know who … where I was on Saturday night, say we went out drinking together in Bangsar until very late
Me: what the fark? OI! Next time can tell me on Saturday night itself or not? Tibai ….
Him: don’t worry lah, she won’t call you wan lah. But just in case we meet up again and she ask, you know lah the story.
Me: Tibai … I should get paid for this.
Him: Okay lah. Next round I buy the drinks.
Me: aaaaahhhh! Ok. Deal.
I have been providing this kind of services way back in high school. Pundek friend of mine has freaking loads of girlfriends back in high school. But the problem wasn’t the chicks. But his mum. Kononnya, his mum knows his hormones are raging and she is desperately trying to make sure dat pundek farker doesn’t become a father at the age of 16. So everytime that pundek goes out with a chick, he tells the mum he is at my place studying. I never knew about it until one day, his mum called up and asked to speak to him. I went, huh? He’s not here. Bocor Rahsia … but I learned fast from that lesson. Too fast perhaps, now that all my friends are using me as an alibi.
Not too long ago, another pundek had a secret rendezvous with a chick. On Monday morning he called me up at work and said …
Him: ey farker ….
Me: ey, wassup?
Him: ey, if anyone ask you, especially you know who … where I was on Saturday night, say we went out drinking together in Bangsar until very late
Me: what the fark? OI! Next time can tell me on Saturday night itself or not? Tibai ….
Him: don’t worry lah, she won’t call you wan lah. But just in case we meet up again and she ask, you know lah the story.
Me: Tibai … I should get paid for this.
Him: Okay lah. Next round I buy the drinks.
Me: aaaaahhhh! Ok. Deal.
3 comments:
Ey, there could be divine retribution for lying so much. And not even for yourself, it's for other people!? WTF is wrong with the itchy farkers, always screwing around. Farking don't get married lah, can fark around until they're 80, no one gives a shit. Just deal with all the bastard kids running around, that's all.
That's right, I agree with comment no. 1. Can't keep their peckers in their pants don't be a man and wanna get married and all that shit. Be a GIGOLO! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! Can get it both ways some more!!
Dei, you can turn this into a money making machine. If got advance warning, give basic fee. If warning was given after the event, wah tat time can charge premium rate. So just make sure you keep a log to make sure you keep your stories straight. Nanti backside tear ...
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