Diet

I have a friend who shares a common friend with me. It was funny how I found out about that. That woman was so horny and desperate, asked me to recommend someone rich and good looking to her. I said the rich tibai I know of was a dentist but already has a girlfriend. And she went, hey, I know of a dentist going out with my friend. And she described her friend which turned out to be Cicak's other half. Damn. What a small world.

Recently, for Cicak's wedding, Cicak asked me to pass the wedding invite to her. When I passed it to her, she was really excited like a kid. What da fark is with the excitement? It's not like she is the one getting married.

Anyway, Cicak gave her the invite about 3 weeks before the wedding. Now, this tibai woman, was one fat blimp. She was a slim chick before. Dunno what happened. Her ass grew so farking big, it would take two bar stools to accomodate her. Not just her ass, her thighs are like the size of an elephant's foot! So big, that she has to walk kangkang. She walk's like a duck. Waddling away. I don't think it's a sexy walk even though with the waddling, her ass seems to be moving from left to right. But despite that, she is one party chick. Drinks so much can knock down an elephant.

After she got the invite, from orgasmic excitement, she suddenly became sad and depressed. Just like that. It was like a jekyl and hyde thing. Her mood changed with a snap of the finger. I asked her, what da fark? Oh, she said she doesn't have anything to wear. Her only dress which is also her favorite won't fit her anymore. She has this favorite sexy black dress that she wears to functions and occassions like this. Start dieting you fat blimp!

One week later, she was trying harder to diet more. She was still as fat as ever with so much lard that can solve the oil crisis the world is facing. Hehe. She's fat but not that fat anyway. She skipped breakfast and for lunch, just eats salad or fruits. But by 4pm, she would complain she is feeling woozy and going to faint and started eating crap like junk food, goreng pisang or spring rolls. For dinner, she eats so much rice, I can eat that portion for 3 meals!.Two weeks later, she was still as fat and complaint that the diet was not working. Dumb fark!

Look, why can't you just buy another farking dress? And the answer was, no-lar, even with new dress, I still want to look good-mah. Sheesh. Lady, if you look like Goodyear zeppelin and waddles like a duck and with one more week to go, you might as well try plastic surgery or liposuction!