How to lose a girl in 10 days

Recently I watched a movie titled How to lose a guy in 10 days. I didn't manage to finish watching the whole movie but thought to myself that the chick's antics were quite funny. Seriously, if it was a guy, what would a guy do to lose a girl? I have come up with some ideas which I think will definitely work ...

1. If she is some materialistic bitch, take her out on a date in your Honda cub. Even better, take the bas mini together. Tell her its more romantic.

2. If she is the same materialistic bitch, have your romantic dinner at the mamak. Bring your own candle to create the ambience. Bring a large candle. Tell her you can use it later as a dildo for her after dinner.

3. Any other girls, tell her you only want to cum onto her face or mouth. Not anywhere else. They get very turned off by that. (Warning! Some chicks actually love that. Lucky bastard!)

4. Or, tell her that you prefer to shuv it up her ass. (Warning again! Some chicks loves taking it up the ass)

5. Another idea is that you are into S & M. Just surprise her one night with whips, latex, masks, handcuffs and ropes. (Sigh, another warning ... you might end up as the slave and she, the mistress instead)

6. Be a real slob. Mess up the entire house. Wear the same underwear for 1 week. Don't wash your clothes for 2 weeks. Leave your socks and underwears all over the house.

7. Be mean towards her parents and her friends. Call all her friends sluts, bitches or whores. Guaranteed she will ditch you. Buy porn vcds for her father when visiting. For her mum, get her dildos.

8. Be mean towards kids. Whenever she is looking and is adoring how cute a kid is or how adorable they are, take a stone and throw at a kid. I am not asking you to hit the kid, just pretend that you missed. If babies, just farking make faces and make the baby cry.

9. If she loves dogs or cats, better still. Pretend to abuse the damn animals. Just don't get caught by the SPCA. If she has loads of soft toys, cut them up. Put hangman noose around them. Hang them up on the ceiling fan. Position the toys suggestively in all the kamasutra positions.

10. Never flush the toilet after use. Take a farkin huge dump and don't flush. When you wanna fart, cover both of you in blanket and let it rip.

If none of the above work ... man, you are really farked. But some caution tho', there might be some birds out there who loves some of the things above. And they might want more.