That night, Iceman and I talked cock until 0200 hours until we were farking tired and mumbling as we were falling asleep. Both of us knew that Day 2 in Cebu would mean rehearsal in Church at 1000 hours. BK told us earlier that he would swing by and pick us up at 0930 hours. As the both of us were falling asleep, we set our cell phone’s alarm to 0830 hours for shower and breakfast. 1 hour should be enough. Yawnnnnn……!
Next thing I know, I heard my watch’s alarm beeping. Fark! It’s 6am. My damn watch’s alarm is always set at 6am. Should’ve switched it off! I opened an eye and fark! We are late! It was really bright outside and I could feel the sun burning into the hotel room. I looked over at Iceman and Iceman was also looking at me. Both of us thought of the same thing, we are late. Shit! Hang on … my watched beeped at 6am. I looked at my watch again. It is 6am. Something’s not right. Z told me that Cebu and home are in the same time zone. Iceman’s watch too said 6am. I pulled aside the curtains. Fark! It was freaking bright. I felt like Nosferatu staring into the sun. Back home, this kind of sunshine means at least 0900 hours. Then it hit me! All my science and geography came back into my head. Cebu is further east than home. Aiseh. Stupid me! Of course, the sun would come out earlier here. No wonder I felt it got darker early last night. And I thought it was bad weather. Silly me. Iceman and I laughed and tried to go back and sleep. But it was too bright. Even with the curtains, we could really feel the sun burning into the room. We ended up talking more cock, watching fashion tv again and went down to have breakfast at 0730 hours.
At breakfast, there was not much food to choose from. We just ate some bread and drank coffee. I needed a lot of coffee. It’s already Friday and I really really need sleep badly. I was feeling numb in my head. The hotel was playing 80s music from a radio station and when Rick Ashley’s “Never Gonna Give you up” was played, Iceman and I laughed. Memories of our scoutmaster, “Tiga Bukit” came into our mind with his impersonation of Rick.
After breakfast, we got back to the room and waited until 0930 hours. We were thinking of the attire when we remembered that Z told us its church and we must wear long pants and shoes. We checked out and waited for BK to pick us up. BK arrived and after the usual good mornings, we climbed into his 4WD and headed off to church. Once at church, we were just awed by the church and we had to do the tourist thingy (take photos lah, what else?). Z and B arrived a little later and we were introduced to R, the wedding co-ordinator wearing his J-Lo glasses. He was wearing tight fitting shirt, wonder how he breathes? Realized that he was a little soft too. Stimpy was also there and since Stimpy and I were the groomsmen, we just stuck together. We started checking out the “bridesmaids” and the other girls in church and we were making funny comments and yup, our imagination was about to run wild when Iceman reminded us that we are in the house of God … sorry God. We behaved. But we were still looking at the girls. Then we realized, Z was in shorts and sandals! That wanker! He told us to wear pants and shoes and he was only in shorts and sandals! Real tibai!
Z was standing quite a distance from me when Z looked at me and asked me “which one?” Now, I can’t hear him but I could read his lips. Why was I sure he said “which one?”. That’s because Z promised me some birds as an incentive for me to fly to Cebu to attend his wedding. Or else, I was reluctant to fly there. I signaled him with 3 fingers. “3?” Z asked. “Who is no. 3?” I moved my lips, “not no. 3, I am interested in 3 of them!” Z moved his lips, “Greedy bastard” ha ha
Z moved his lips again, “1 only” and signaled with his index finger. I sighed and said, “ok .. that one” and I signaled to a dopey looking bird. Z laughed and shook his head. He whispered something to B and Z turned towards me (shaking his head) and said, “no can do, tall guys only”. I looked back at him and showed him the letter “L” with my thumb and index finger and said “Hukum John” (“John’s Rules”)(we came up with this rule from all our physics lessons and basically it means Tall Guys = Short Dick, Short Guys = Long Dick). Z laughed and I was sure he remembered that stupid rule we came up with.
After rehearsal we were supposed to have lunch at the sports club. Just before we hopped into the van, Z asked me again, which one? I asked him, hey, which is my bridesmaid (partner) and he said, “she’s not around. Anyway, your partner’s taken (spoken for) and she’s not in your league ‘cos she’s high maintenance”. “dude!”, I said, “why da fark you partner me with her then?” Z laughed and said, the entire entourage from B’s side have been taken, some even married. Damn! I told Z, “you real pundek! Find-lah single bird and partner with me!” Z said, “dunno, my wife’s entourage. Not mine”
At the club, we all sat down for lunch when Ren and Lady M joined us. They were not part of the entourage and they went for a massage instead of the rehearsal. Again, I had the privilege of watching Ren eat and whatever he ate, seems so delicious. The flower girls were there too, 2 of them whom are sisters and they were running around playing tag. Iceman kept saying that they were cute and I told Iceman, “dude, they are just kids. Leave them alone. Otherwise it’s called pedophile!” While the two sisters were running around playing tag, one of them tried to climb onto a chair and Iceman just asked her, “what’s your name” At the same time, the girl’s mum called out and said, “no, that’s dangerous”. And I quickly quipped, “yup, it’s dangerous … don’t talk to Iceman”. Everyone roared with laughter and the girl’s mum kept apologizing to Iceman saying that “that didn’t come out right. I meant to tell her don’t climb on the chair”. Iceman gave me a nudge on my head and said it was my fault for that wise crack! Ha ha
During lunch, we reminded BK of the beers and he said no worries. He’ll get them. But he asked again, you sure you wanted 3 slabs. “yeah!, very sure”. After lunch, we were asked what we intend to do. It was close to 1500 hours and Z told us that that evening itself, there will be tea ceremony and dinner at B’s house at 0700 hours and BK will pick us up at 0630 hours. With that schedule in mind, Iceman and I just said, we are suppose to move to the waterfront hotel right? (that’s where the wedding reception will be held) and since we have not checked in, we might as well check in and get some R&R. It was a good plan since I needed sleep so badly.
We got into the hotel and we were given 2 rooms since Wor Siong and another guy Eug are coming too. Iceman and I took 1 room in case we were so dead asleep, we can wake each other up in time for dinner. We took room 1213 and we renamed the room Club 1213 as I’ve decided that this particular room will be party central. At the same time, Wor Siong texted us and told us that he is catching the last flight out from Taiwan and will arrive in Cebu at 1900 hours that same night. Told us to get ready for a big boys’ night out. Iceman grabbed a shower and got into bed and I, had to go to the business centre to check on my emails and work. By the time I finished checking my emails and clearing some of my work online at the business centre, it was already 1700 hours. Crap. I only have an hour to take a nap and I am the kind of guy who can’t fall asleep fast no matter how tired I am. I got back into the room and Iceman was fast asleep. I climbed into bed and my mind was still on work when the doorbell rang. Fark! I looked at my watch. 1720. Who da fark is ringing our door bell? Iceman woked up just as the door was being opened from the outside! What da hell? Who’s got the keys to this room? A guy walked in and he looked surprised! “Eug?” I asked. “yeah… and you must be Z’s friends”
“yeah, but how’d you get the room keys”
Eug told us that reception informed him that we have not checked in yet and they asked him to check in and even took an imprint of his credit card. Iceman and I told Eug the hotel must have screwed up and told him his room is next door and to go and cancel his card. Told him to catch up with us at 1830 hours as the transports will be here to pick us up for B’s house. I got back into bed but realized I can’t possibly sleep again. Sigh … I took a shower and both Iceman and I went down to the lobby to wait for our transport to B's house ...
Next thing I know, I heard my watch’s alarm beeping. Fark! It’s 6am. My damn watch’s alarm is always set at 6am. Should’ve switched it off! I opened an eye and fark! We are late! It was really bright outside and I could feel the sun burning into the hotel room. I looked over at Iceman and Iceman was also looking at me. Both of us thought of the same thing, we are late. Shit! Hang on … my watched beeped at 6am. I looked at my watch again. It is 6am. Something’s not right. Z told me that Cebu and home are in the same time zone. Iceman’s watch too said 6am. I pulled aside the curtains. Fark! It was freaking bright. I felt like Nosferatu staring into the sun. Back home, this kind of sunshine means at least 0900 hours. Then it hit me! All my science and geography came back into my head. Cebu is further east than home. Aiseh. Stupid me! Of course, the sun would come out earlier here. No wonder I felt it got darker early last night. And I thought it was bad weather. Silly me. Iceman and I laughed and tried to go back and sleep. But it was too bright. Even with the curtains, we could really feel the sun burning into the room. We ended up talking more cock, watching fashion tv again and went down to have breakfast at 0730 hours.
At breakfast, there was not much food to choose from. We just ate some bread and drank coffee. I needed a lot of coffee. It’s already Friday and I really really need sleep badly. I was feeling numb in my head. The hotel was playing 80s music from a radio station and when Rick Ashley’s “Never Gonna Give you up” was played, Iceman and I laughed. Memories of our scoutmaster, “Tiga Bukit” came into our mind with his impersonation of Rick.
After breakfast, we got back to the room and waited until 0930 hours. We were thinking of the attire when we remembered that Z told us its church and we must wear long pants and shoes. We checked out and waited for BK to pick us up. BK arrived and after the usual good mornings, we climbed into his 4WD and headed off to church. Once at church, we were just awed by the church and we had to do the tourist thingy (take photos lah, what else?). Z and B arrived a little later and we were introduced to R, the wedding co-ordinator wearing his J-Lo glasses. He was wearing tight fitting shirt, wonder how he breathes? Realized that he was a little soft too. Stimpy was also there and since Stimpy and I were the groomsmen, we just stuck together. We started checking out the “bridesmaids” and the other girls in church and we were making funny comments and yup, our imagination was about to run wild when Iceman reminded us that we are in the house of God … sorry God. We behaved. But we were still looking at the girls. Then we realized, Z was in shorts and sandals! That wanker! He told us to wear pants and shoes and he was only in shorts and sandals! Real tibai!
Z was standing quite a distance from me when Z looked at me and asked me “which one?” Now, I can’t hear him but I could read his lips. Why was I sure he said “which one?”. That’s because Z promised me some birds as an incentive for me to fly to Cebu to attend his wedding. Or else, I was reluctant to fly there. I signaled him with 3 fingers. “3?” Z asked. “Who is no. 3?” I moved my lips, “not no. 3, I am interested in 3 of them!” Z moved his lips, “Greedy bastard” ha ha
Z moved his lips again, “1 only” and signaled with his index finger. I sighed and said, “ok .. that one” and I signaled to a dopey looking bird. Z laughed and shook his head. He whispered something to B and Z turned towards me (shaking his head) and said, “no can do, tall guys only”. I looked back at him and showed him the letter “L” with my thumb and index finger and said “Hukum John” (“John’s Rules”)(we came up with this rule from all our physics lessons and basically it means Tall Guys = Short Dick, Short Guys = Long Dick). Z laughed and I was sure he remembered that stupid rule we came up with.
After rehearsal we were supposed to have lunch at the sports club. Just before we hopped into the van, Z asked me again, which one? I asked him, hey, which is my bridesmaid (partner) and he said, “she’s not around. Anyway, your partner’s taken (spoken for) and she’s not in your league ‘cos she’s high maintenance”. “dude!”, I said, “why da fark you partner me with her then?” Z laughed and said, the entire entourage from B’s side have been taken, some even married. Damn! I told Z, “you real pundek! Find-lah single bird and partner with me!” Z said, “dunno, my wife’s entourage. Not mine”
At the club, we all sat down for lunch when Ren and Lady M joined us. They were not part of the entourage and they went for a massage instead of the rehearsal. Again, I had the privilege of watching Ren eat and whatever he ate, seems so delicious. The flower girls were there too, 2 of them whom are sisters and they were running around playing tag. Iceman kept saying that they were cute and I told Iceman, “dude, they are just kids. Leave them alone. Otherwise it’s called pedophile!” While the two sisters were running around playing tag, one of them tried to climb onto a chair and Iceman just asked her, “what’s your name” At the same time, the girl’s mum called out and said, “no, that’s dangerous”. And I quickly quipped, “yup, it’s dangerous … don’t talk to Iceman”. Everyone roared with laughter and the girl’s mum kept apologizing to Iceman saying that “that didn’t come out right. I meant to tell her don’t climb on the chair”. Iceman gave me a nudge on my head and said it was my fault for that wise crack! Ha ha
During lunch, we reminded BK of the beers and he said no worries. He’ll get them. But he asked again, you sure you wanted 3 slabs. “yeah!, very sure”. After lunch, we were asked what we intend to do. It was close to 1500 hours and Z told us that that evening itself, there will be tea ceremony and dinner at B’s house at 0700 hours and BK will pick us up at 0630 hours. With that schedule in mind, Iceman and I just said, we are suppose to move to the waterfront hotel right? (that’s where the wedding reception will be held) and since we have not checked in, we might as well check in and get some R&R. It was a good plan since I needed sleep so badly.
We got into the hotel and we were given 2 rooms since Wor Siong and another guy Eug are coming too. Iceman and I took 1 room in case we were so dead asleep, we can wake each other up in time for dinner. We took room 1213 and we renamed the room Club 1213 as I’ve decided that this particular room will be party central. At the same time, Wor Siong texted us and told us that he is catching the last flight out from Taiwan and will arrive in Cebu at 1900 hours that same night. Told us to get ready for a big boys’ night out. Iceman grabbed a shower and got into bed and I, had to go to the business centre to check on my emails and work. By the time I finished checking my emails and clearing some of my work online at the business centre, it was already 1700 hours. Crap. I only have an hour to take a nap and I am the kind of guy who can’t fall asleep fast no matter how tired I am. I got back into the room and Iceman was fast asleep. I climbed into bed and my mind was still on work when the doorbell rang. Fark! I looked at my watch. 1720. Who da fark is ringing our door bell? Iceman woked up just as the door was being opened from the outside! What da hell? Who’s got the keys to this room? A guy walked in and he looked surprised! “Eug?” I asked. “yeah… and you must be Z’s friends”
“yeah, but how’d you get the room keys”
Eug told us that reception informed him that we have not checked in yet and they asked him to check in and even took an imprint of his credit card. Iceman and I told Eug the hotel must have screwed up and told him his room is next door and to go and cancel his card. Told him to catch up with us at 1830 hours as the transports will be here to pick us up for B’s house. I got back into bed but realized I can’t possibly sleep again. Sigh … I took a shower and both Iceman and I went down to the lobby to wait for our transport to B's house ...
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