We went down to the lobby to wait for our transport. The rest of the gang were supposed to meet us there. When we walked out of the elevator, we were in for a huge shock. We saw nuns. Thousands and thousands of nuns, Everyone is a nun there.
Me: “what da …”
Iceman: “man, feels like a sound of music convention here….”
Iceman went on to sing “do re mi, mi fa fa ..” ha ha ha
Everyone else met at the lobby, T, Lady M, Ren and Stimpy were there too. We all hopped into the van and were taken to B’s house. We were running kind of late and we were sure the tea ceremony would have commenced by the time we arrived. Traffic in Cebu was at its normal best i.e. crawling all the way. There was a phone call to the driver, presumably by B’s brothers as we could tell that the driver is telling the other guy on the phone that we are on the way. We got to B’s house and all of us were just standing near the front gate talking when Z came out looking all dressed up and dropped a bomb on me …
Z: dude, you are emcee for tonight
Me: what da fark? It’s a tea ceremony. What da fark you need an emcee for? To announce the tea?
Z: to introduce the relatives lah. No worries. I’ve wrote everything down. Just read from the paper.
Me: ok.
Z: oh, by the way, you have a co-emcee to read the Cebuano names in case you fark it up by calling them something else
Me: ha ha.
Z: and your co-emcee is a she. And behave. She’s taken too.
Me: why can’t she read everything then?
Z: because she might fark up the Malaysian names too.
Just then I heard BK yelling my name at the porch. Z and I ran up the porch and both B’s brothers were there, BK and BR. Also standing there was another hot bird and Z just shoved a piece of paper in my hands and pointing to the bird, said “that’s your co-emcee, K”
“not bad, not bad …”
Z nudged me. Behave you bastard. High maintenance. High maintenance. Sigh …..
Z: oh by the way, my wife wants to do the traditional “negotiating” before the door is opened for us to come in and you are leading the negotiations…
Me: why me again? Dude, we’ve got to work on our communication. Seems a lot of last minute shit you are telling me. Ha ha
Z: because you’ve farking broken down doors before.
Just then we heard the elders inside the house calling everyone to come in and I thought the doors would be closed to start the traditional negotiation thing. But it was still opened and everyone was already waiting for the tea ceremony to commence. I just walked in and brought Z in. Hmmm… no need to break down doors. Easier this way.
Emceeing the event was easy for both me and my co-emcee, K. Everything was written down. After the tea ceremony, we were all invited to have dinner at the back of the house. There was a lot of food and a huge lechon (“roasted pig”) was served as well. I tried almost everything and found that the lechon and the crepe was really good. BR even introduced cebuano vinegar to us and we had some of the lechon’s brain together with the vinegar. It was really good. The vinegar tasted like Tabasco sauce. Overall, the food must be really good, ‘because Ren went for a lot of refills. Once, I was watching Ren and these group of little old ladies who were queuing behind Ren seemed to be pushing him along. It was kinda funny especially when the old ladies just sneaked in from behind him and grabbed food from under his elbow. You could see Ren’s exasperated face! When Ren came back to the table with his food, he was complaining that these people are just so damn impatient. I told Ren, “dude, don’t blame them. Look at your plate. They probably thought you would have taken all the food, that’s why they kept pushing you from behind so that you will feel pressured and leave some food behind for them…”
Z and B came over and we took some photos. I was asking Z for my co-emcee and he said, “I’ve got a better bird for you …”
Me: wait, what’s wrong with my co-emcee?
Z: she’s taken. She is seeing someone.
Me: oh ok.
Z: besides, she’s high maintenance …
Me: define high maintenance …
Z: one boyfriend was driving a beemer. The current boyfriend is driving a jaguar. And you are driving a proton … besides, she’s with her parents right now. And you would not want to deal with her cousin. This other girl is better and please, don’t scare her …
Me: hey, do I scare people?
Z: yes!
Me: sigh …
And I was introduced to another really hot bird. Her name’s J. And I was also introduced to other ladies over there that night and was just getting tired of all the socializing.
Me: hey, where’s Wor Siong? Did you make arrangements to pick him up?
Z: yeah. Heard that his flight was delayed. Some typhoon somewhere…
Me: heh heh. Trust Wor Siong to bring a storm to wherever he goes …
The night was really warm. No wind at all. Pitied the Americans, especially Ren. He was sweating so much he looked as if he was taking a shower there and then. After eating, they just went into the house where there was air-condition. Iceman and I still sat outside waiting for Wor Siong to turn up. We caught hold of BK too and asked him: “BK, another brother of ours will be here soon and we wanna go clubbing”
BK: okay. I’ll bring you guys to Vudu then.
Me: where’s that?
BK: that’s where you were at last night …
Me: but that place’s dead
BK: that was Thursday night. It’s Friday night tonight …
Iceman: ah…… cool. Hey, have you bought our beers?
BK: errrr not yet. But don’t worry. I’ll get them…
Me: hey BK, don’t worry about it okay? I don’t think we will be drinking in the hotel anyway. We’ll probably be drinking in Vudu.
Just then Wor Siong arrived and boy, we had a good laugh when we saw him. Now, Wor Siong back in his high school days had really short hair, hence his nick name was Wor Siong which means “Monk”. When he got into college, his image has changed and all of a sudden, he appeared in Cebu with his short hair of high school days. He looked as if he was back in high school again. Wor Siong was introduced to his partner in the entourage and we had to do all the socializing thing again.
After dinner, we headed back to the hotel as Wor Siong need to leave his bags there and grab a quick shower before we headed out to Vudu. Eug didn’t join us since he claimed he wasn’t feeling too well with a runny nose. While waiting for Wor Siong, Iceman and I got a head start with the wisky in our room. Once ready, our transport came and picked us up and we were off to Vudu. Now, at Vudu, we noticed its just like another Bangsar back home. Lots of hot chicks. Some are really really hot. BK came by later and brought Z, B, BK’s girlfriend and BR too. And Z brought J too!
We all went up to Vudu, made our way to the bar and each got a drink. Some of us went to the dance floor and we just started dancing. There was Z, B and J dancing away and Z called out to me to go over. So I went over and started dancing with them when that pundek Z quietly sneaked off with B and left me all alone with J. Now, I can smell a set up when there was one and this was one of those set ups. Bastard! I had to be nice and continued dancing with J and decided to talk to her for a while. And from the conversation, found out that J is really an outgoing person and loves the outdoors as much as I do!
After dancing for a while, I decided, ok, its time for me to quit dancing. My knees are killing me and we went off looking for the rest of the gang. We found them downstairs and Z had the bloody cheek to ask me, why did I come down! The whole group of us continued drinking and this is where we were introduced to the local rum, Tanduay! We finished two bottles of them, got Z and B some other cocktails but those 2 sneaks were sneaking away all the time avoiding the drinks. Wuss! Next thing we know, Iceman, Wor Siong and I started singing our high school song, in public! In Vudu! In Cebu! Everyone was just looking at us drunks but we just continued singing as loud as we can.
J had to leave at 0000 hours and we just continued partying and drinking. I was really glad Ren stopped drinking ‘cos if he gets smashed, I have no idea how I am going to bring him back. Stimpy was really smashed from the Tanduay and since I was downing that foul rum, I called it “Tandu-Hai”. Wor Siong, Iceman and I went back into Vudu and continued dancing. BK took Z and B home. But BK looked really smashed. His girlfriend decided to drive instead. After a while, we decided to leave and instead of leaving, some of us wondered off track and went into another club instead. And just like the Sheep Theory, everyone followed. This club was pretty much quieter and I managed to get everyone to leave again. I thought I was quite sober but believe me, “Tandu-Hai” was making me sick and I wanted to barf. Instead, I was anchoring the whole gang who decided to take a cab back instead. Good idea ‘cos I don’t think anyone of us could have walked far even though the hotel was less than 10 minutes walk away.
While I was anchoring the back, I could see one of us strayed away and talked to three really fat women. Man, he must be really drunk to be hitting on fat women. I ran up and was just in time to see Stimpy pushing our friend along and shouting, “Dude, you owe me man, I just saved you from those fat bitches!” I turned around and looked and the fat women and they looked pissed. Shit! I started to walk faster and told everyone to move along and get into the cab. Last thing I need is 3 fat women with 3 fat boyfriends coming after us.
We got back into the hotel in one piece and we continued to drink and party at Club 1213. We got out our wisky and introduced them to the Americans. Ren and Stimpy were wasted. T was hanging in there as he has a golf game to go to the next day with Z’s father in law. Wor Siong was equally smashed as well. Iceman was singing “Sound of Music” again … “do re me, me fa fa ..” Next thing we know, Iceman was barfing in the toilet and clogged up the sink. Everything was just left floating in the sink and Stimpy went in to take a pee. While peeing, I took a picture of him and when he went to the sink, Stimpy shouted, “dude, who da fark barfed?” Iceman went on another “Sound of Music” singing “me me me, fa fa fa …”
After the Americans left and Wor Siong went back into his room, Iceman went to take a pee. That’s when another hell broke loose. The toilet was not flushing properly and it flooded out! Gross! Iceman just went back to bed and passed out. I even tried to wake him up to get him to remove his contact lenses and he just gave me the finger. I went back to the toilet and decided to call housekeeping. That was 0300 hours. Housekeeping came at 0330 and when he saw the sink and the toilet, he was grossed out. Ha! Ha! I stayed awake until 0430 hours after he has finished cleaning things up and left. Shoot, its 0430 hours and I hope I don’t wake up at 0600 hours. My head was beginning to throb and I was really really tired. I needed sleep badly. I can only guess that I have been sleeping average of 3 hours a night since Monday. And all the Smirnoff, San Miguel’s, Single Malts, Tanduay is not making things better. I looked at Iceman and he was dead asleep. I think back and yeah, it was really funny back at Vudu. There was suppose to be a half day tour around Cebu starting at 0930 hours and I thought to myself, hey, I can sleep until 0900 hours …
Me: “what da …”
Iceman: “man, feels like a sound of music convention here….”
Iceman went on to sing “do re mi, mi fa fa ..” ha ha ha
Everyone else met at the lobby, T, Lady M, Ren and Stimpy were there too. We all hopped into the van and were taken to B’s house. We were running kind of late and we were sure the tea ceremony would have commenced by the time we arrived. Traffic in Cebu was at its normal best i.e. crawling all the way. There was a phone call to the driver, presumably by B’s brothers as we could tell that the driver is telling the other guy on the phone that we are on the way. We got to B’s house and all of us were just standing near the front gate talking when Z came out looking all dressed up and dropped a bomb on me …
Z: dude, you are emcee for tonight
Me: what da fark? It’s a tea ceremony. What da fark you need an emcee for? To announce the tea?
Z: to introduce the relatives lah. No worries. I’ve wrote everything down. Just read from the paper.
Me: ok.
Z: oh, by the way, you have a co-emcee to read the Cebuano names in case you fark it up by calling them something else
Me: ha ha.
Z: and your co-emcee is a she. And behave. She’s taken too.
Me: why can’t she read everything then?
Z: because she might fark up the Malaysian names too.
Just then I heard BK yelling my name at the porch. Z and I ran up the porch and both B’s brothers were there, BK and BR. Also standing there was another hot bird and Z just shoved a piece of paper in my hands and pointing to the bird, said “that’s your co-emcee, K”
“not bad, not bad …”
Z nudged me. Behave you bastard. High maintenance. High maintenance. Sigh …..
Z: oh by the way, my wife wants to do the traditional “negotiating” before the door is opened for us to come in and you are leading the negotiations…
Me: why me again? Dude, we’ve got to work on our communication. Seems a lot of last minute shit you are telling me. Ha ha
Z: because you’ve farking broken down doors before.
Just then we heard the elders inside the house calling everyone to come in and I thought the doors would be closed to start the traditional negotiation thing. But it was still opened and everyone was already waiting for the tea ceremony to commence. I just walked in and brought Z in. Hmmm… no need to break down doors. Easier this way.
Emceeing the event was easy for both me and my co-emcee, K. Everything was written down. After the tea ceremony, we were all invited to have dinner at the back of the house. There was a lot of food and a huge lechon (“roasted pig”) was served as well. I tried almost everything and found that the lechon and the crepe was really good. BR even introduced cebuano vinegar to us and we had some of the lechon’s brain together with the vinegar. It was really good. The vinegar tasted like Tabasco sauce. Overall, the food must be really good, ‘because Ren went for a lot of refills. Once, I was watching Ren and these group of little old ladies who were queuing behind Ren seemed to be pushing him along. It was kinda funny especially when the old ladies just sneaked in from behind him and grabbed food from under his elbow. You could see Ren’s exasperated face! When Ren came back to the table with his food, he was complaining that these people are just so damn impatient. I told Ren, “dude, don’t blame them. Look at your plate. They probably thought you would have taken all the food, that’s why they kept pushing you from behind so that you will feel pressured and leave some food behind for them…”
Z and B came over and we took some photos. I was asking Z for my co-emcee and he said, “I’ve got a better bird for you …”
Me: wait, what’s wrong with my co-emcee?
Z: she’s taken. She is seeing someone.
Me: oh ok.
Z: besides, she’s high maintenance …
Me: define high maintenance …
Z: one boyfriend was driving a beemer. The current boyfriend is driving a jaguar. And you are driving a proton … besides, she’s with her parents right now. And you would not want to deal with her cousin. This other girl is better and please, don’t scare her …
Me: hey, do I scare people?
Z: yes!
Me: sigh …
And I was introduced to another really hot bird. Her name’s J. And I was also introduced to other ladies over there that night and was just getting tired of all the socializing.
Me: hey, where’s Wor Siong? Did you make arrangements to pick him up?
Z: yeah. Heard that his flight was delayed. Some typhoon somewhere…
Me: heh heh. Trust Wor Siong to bring a storm to wherever he goes …
The night was really warm. No wind at all. Pitied the Americans, especially Ren. He was sweating so much he looked as if he was taking a shower there and then. After eating, they just went into the house where there was air-condition. Iceman and I still sat outside waiting for Wor Siong to turn up. We caught hold of BK too and asked him: “BK, another brother of ours will be here soon and we wanna go clubbing”
BK: okay. I’ll bring you guys to Vudu then.
Me: where’s that?
BK: that’s where you were at last night …
Me: but that place’s dead
BK: that was Thursday night. It’s Friday night tonight …
Iceman: ah…… cool. Hey, have you bought our beers?
BK: errrr not yet. But don’t worry. I’ll get them…
Me: hey BK, don’t worry about it okay? I don’t think we will be drinking in the hotel anyway. We’ll probably be drinking in Vudu.
Just then Wor Siong arrived and boy, we had a good laugh when we saw him. Now, Wor Siong back in his high school days had really short hair, hence his nick name was Wor Siong which means “Monk”. When he got into college, his image has changed and all of a sudden, he appeared in Cebu with his short hair of high school days. He looked as if he was back in high school again. Wor Siong was introduced to his partner in the entourage and we had to do all the socializing thing again.
After dinner, we headed back to the hotel as Wor Siong need to leave his bags there and grab a quick shower before we headed out to Vudu. Eug didn’t join us since he claimed he wasn’t feeling too well with a runny nose. While waiting for Wor Siong, Iceman and I got a head start with the wisky in our room. Once ready, our transport came and picked us up and we were off to Vudu. Now, at Vudu, we noticed its just like another Bangsar back home. Lots of hot chicks. Some are really really hot. BK came by later and brought Z, B, BK’s girlfriend and BR too. And Z brought J too!
We all went up to Vudu, made our way to the bar and each got a drink. Some of us went to the dance floor and we just started dancing. There was Z, B and J dancing away and Z called out to me to go over. So I went over and started dancing with them when that pundek Z quietly sneaked off with B and left me all alone with J. Now, I can smell a set up when there was one and this was one of those set ups. Bastard! I had to be nice and continued dancing with J and decided to talk to her for a while. And from the conversation, found out that J is really an outgoing person and loves the outdoors as much as I do!
After dancing for a while, I decided, ok, its time for me to quit dancing. My knees are killing me and we went off looking for the rest of the gang. We found them downstairs and Z had the bloody cheek to ask me, why did I come down! The whole group of us continued drinking and this is where we were introduced to the local rum, Tanduay! We finished two bottles of them, got Z and B some other cocktails but those 2 sneaks were sneaking away all the time avoiding the drinks. Wuss! Next thing we know, Iceman, Wor Siong and I started singing our high school song, in public! In Vudu! In Cebu! Everyone was just looking at us drunks but we just continued singing as loud as we can.
J had to leave at 0000 hours and we just continued partying and drinking. I was really glad Ren stopped drinking ‘cos if he gets smashed, I have no idea how I am going to bring him back. Stimpy was really smashed from the Tanduay and since I was downing that foul rum, I called it “Tandu-Hai”. Wor Siong, Iceman and I went back into Vudu and continued dancing. BK took Z and B home. But BK looked really smashed. His girlfriend decided to drive instead. After a while, we decided to leave and instead of leaving, some of us wondered off track and went into another club instead. And just like the Sheep Theory, everyone followed. This club was pretty much quieter and I managed to get everyone to leave again. I thought I was quite sober but believe me, “Tandu-Hai” was making me sick and I wanted to barf. Instead, I was anchoring the whole gang who decided to take a cab back instead. Good idea ‘cos I don’t think anyone of us could have walked far even though the hotel was less than 10 minutes walk away.
While I was anchoring the back, I could see one of us strayed away and talked to three really fat women. Man, he must be really drunk to be hitting on fat women. I ran up and was just in time to see Stimpy pushing our friend along and shouting, “Dude, you owe me man, I just saved you from those fat bitches!” I turned around and looked and the fat women and they looked pissed. Shit! I started to walk faster and told everyone to move along and get into the cab. Last thing I need is 3 fat women with 3 fat boyfriends coming after us.
We got back into the hotel in one piece and we continued to drink and party at Club 1213. We got out our wisky and introduced them to the Americans. Ren and Stimpy were wasted. T was hanging in there as he has a golf game to go to the next day with Z’s father in law. Wor Siong was equally smashed as well. Iceman was singing “Sound of Music” again … “do re me, me fa fa ..” Next thing we know, Iceman was barfing in the toilet and clogged up the sink. Everything was just left floating in the sink and Stimpy went in to take a pee. While peeing, I took a picture of him and when he went to the sink, Stimpy shouted, “dude, who da fark barfed?” Iceman went on another “Sound of Music” singing “me me me, fa fa fa …”
After the Americans left and Wor Siong went back into his room, Iceman went to take a pee. That’s when another hell broke loose. The toilet was not flushing properly and it flooded out! Gross! Iceman just went back to bed and passed out. I even tried to wake him up to get him to remove his contact lenses and he just gave me the finger. I went back to the toilet and decided to call housekeeping. That was 0300 hours. Housekeeping came at 0330 and when he saw the sink and the toilet, he was grossed out. Ha! Ha! I stayed awake until 0430 hours after he has finished cleaning things up and left. Shoot, its 0430 hours and I hope I don’t wake up at 0600 hours. My head was beginning to throb and I was really really tired. I needed sleep badly. I can only guess that I have been sleeping average of 3 hours a night since Monday. And all the Smirnoff, San Miguel’s, Single Malts, Tanduay is not making things better. I looked at Iceman and he was dead asleep. I think back and yeah, it was really funny back at Vudu. There was suppose to be a half day tour around Cebu starting at 0930 hours and I thought to myself, hey, I can sleep until 0900 hours …
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