Handicapped!

The woes of being handicapped. No, no, I am not in a wheel chair or in crutches or anything like that. But I am quite handicapped. Why? First of all, I have picked up some injuries playing games and hiking that I am quite sure I can qualify for tax exempt for handicapped people (in my country, handicapped people has certain advantages when it comes to tax). The worse of my injuries are my knees. My left knee went through a anterior cruciate ligament reconstruction but surgery farking failed! So I am still walking around with a left knee which is worse than before surgery! My right knee is suffering from cartilage wear and tear as a result of my left knee. I have sprained both my ankles so many times that I have lost count. To top it all off, I have injured my back badly before in a sparring session. Until today, this back injury continues to haunt me. This are the "handicappedness" which I have picked up. Not to mention my blurrness too!

But wait, there's more. I'm born with two more "handicappedness". I'm color blind and tone deaf. According to doctors, my color blindness is limited to shades of red and green. But I think there is more than that. Tone deaf doesn't help with my social life either and I have avoided karaoke joints as much as I can. But karaoke seems to be part and parcel of everyone's entertainment and many times I was asked to go karaoke with my colleagues, friends and even clients. With my colleagues and clients, usually its in decent karaoke joints and everyone ask me to sing and when I sing, I sing like William Hung! Damn ... its quite an embarassment when everyone in the room laughs! To make matters worse, karaoke with friends would most of the time mean in some dodgy joint some where and even the guest relation officers laugh at me! Don't understand how some of this old Ah Bengs can sing their lungs away when they sound like William Hung! When I tell everyone I won't sing 'cos I sing like William Hung, they just said, "yeah, we want to hear ..." Bastards!

Color blindness is another woe of mine. Good thing I have a secretary who will stop me from going out of my office with mismatched ties. Kinda funny everytime she stops me and tells me my tie don't match with my shirt. Shopping for clothes is another problem for me. I have resorted to reading the labels on the shirts and slacks that I want to buy but not every lables carries description of colors. What's wrong with all these garment companies?!! Don't they know there are color blind people out there? And nowadays, reading labels won't help either. White is no longer just white. Pearl white, emerald white, sperm white. What da fark. White is white! Same shit with black colors. And every other damn colors out there. And if you ask for any of the sales persons assistance, they always give you this cock look. Man, I feel like slapping their eye balls out of their sockets.

I used to have my girlfriend help me out with my clothes when it comes to shopping. Now that I am single, my mum helps me out with it but only to a certain extent. With all the lightings in the malls and my mum being 65 years old, she can't even see the colors properly!

Know something? Whenever I tell someone I'm color blind, the response is, "really?" What da f...?!!! You think I like to tell everyone I am color blind? And the next question is always standard text book question ... "how do you see the traffic lights or how do you drive?" And I always have a standard answer, "Top light means stop, bottom light means go, middle light means farking step on it!"

Then some genius would ask, what about lights installed horizontally? Idiot! The light on the outside means stop. The inner light means Go! Middle light still means the same, farking step on it!

So next time someone tells you he or she is color blind, don't ask stoopid questions about the traffic lights. You should be asking what happens when my girlfriend wears a flaming red lingerie .. will it still excite me? And the answer is, hell yeah ...