Whistling

Most guys can whistle. I can. But, with limited style and volume. Its the normal putting your lips together whistling kind of thing, if you know what I mean. Not very loud. But enough to carry a tune. I don't think I can whistle loud enough for wolf calls. I can't do those whistling where you put your fingers into your mouth and whistle for a cab or where you bit your lower lip and whistle the hell away. Now, those are loud. And I have seen some chicks whistling that way too. Hmmmm.... definitely makes me feel embarassed. But still, I know of some guys who can't whistle at all.

I attended a wedding reception not too long ago. At the end of the reception, there was a little party and dancing going on but I was too smashed to do much except to try to sit down and not barf in front of some pretty hot birds. There were a lot of hot birds and we were definitely having a really good time chatting with them. At least, that's what my intention was (really). But not for my good pal, Keling Zhai. Bastard was like dog on heat. He was all over the dance hall and at the lobby and I swear, in my drunken stupor, he was sniffing at all the pussies. Bastard was horny as hell. So was my other good pal, Wor Siong. Another friend of ours, Ed was also at the scene of the crime. Between the 3 of them, I can hardly keep track of their movements. They are like energy balls bouncing off the walls, except in this scenario, the hot birds. The rest of our friends ran off into the hotel rooms, presumably to shag their other halves. Their cock given excuse was they were afraid of our (me, Keling Zhai and Wor Siong) drinking habits.

Now, Keling Zhai is a player. More stories about him, but for this night, I saw him in action. A lot of people have asked me to learn a thing or two from him. But then again, I was too smashed to learn anything.

He was with these 2 birds and I overheard him asking, "Can you ladies, give me a kiss? At least on the cheek?"

Don't get me wrong here. That is not his pickup line. He was with the 2 birds for a while, chatting and drinking. Then they moved on to the dance floor and I just continued to sit down and chatted with another bird. Ed and Wor Siong were still bouncing and sniffing around like mongrels on heat.

Next thing I know, Keling Zhai came back and asked me, "dei farker, can you whistle or not?"

Smashed as I was, I asked him, " What da fark? Of course I can whistle!"

He grabbed me another glass of vodka. I downed it. Then he doubled up with bombay sapphire. Cibai bastard. "What da fark? You trying to drown me with liquor?"

Keling Zhai, "No lar. Farking drink. I tell you later ..."

I was feeling really uneasy. The shark fin soup, the buttered prawns, steamed fish, crispy chicken seemed to be making their way up my throat.

Me, "Cibai black, I'm gonna puke"

Keling Zhai, "Eh, I learn something lar. Those 2 birds are players lar. I am not the player"

Me. "Huh???"

Keling Zhai, "While dancing, I asked those 2 birds for a kiss. They told me, if I could whistle, they will kiss me. Farker, I tried lar. I can't farking whistle"

Me, "You real cibai. You don't know how to whistle?"

Keling Zhai, "I know lar. But you can't whistle when you are drunk! They know that. They even gave me encouragement, if I can whistle, they will let me kiss them! Farker, I tried lar. Cannot lar"

Me, "ha haha. Let me try" I did. Not much of a whistle. Not enough volume. But still a whistle. Farking Keling Zhai gave me another shot of wisky. I tried again. Fark. I think he is right. Either that, I am too smashed to know what's happening.

Me, "Where are the 2 birds now? If I can farking whistle a tune, I'll ask them to blow me!"

We could not find the 2 birds after that. But we did went round testing drinking and whistling on Wor Siong and Ed. Both were smashed and could not whistle.

I really need to experiment this again. On my next drinking session, I will try this stoopid whistling again. Anyone out there knows for sure whether you can whistle when you are really really smashed?