Virgin

You guys remember your first premature ejaculation? LOL!!!! Anyone hoping to get it back? Or the excitement of your first shag? LOL!!!

I was with some friends. One of them is a 35 year old guy, Kenny's the name. Kenny is an introvert and always keeps to himself. Even asking him out for beers was difficult. We have to literally drag him out the other day and while having some beers ...

Me: Oi Kenny, what da fark is with the orange juice man??!!! You are farking embarassing us. No wonder no girls want to come over and sit with us?

Kenny: huh? you mean the girls will come over and sit with us?

Jenson: Yah lah! You go and drink orange juice! That's why they are not coming over!!!

Kenny gave all of us this really really blur sotong look ..

Me: Never mind lah. So, Kenny, why aren't you drinking?

Kenny: Erm .. I can't drink. Its not healthy.

Me: No shit!

Jenson: Yeah, you should ask him about woman too. LOL!!!

Me: What? You mean women is not healthy oso? Where can?

Jenson: No-lah. That farker damn shy wan leh! You don't believe? I call that chick to come over and have drinks with us ...

Kenny: Ey no-lah. Why must you call girls come over?

Me: Farks! You are not gay are you?

Jenson: Farker is only super shy lah. Everytime shy shy like that but his bloody eyes always scanning at all those chicks in skimpy clothing.

Me: ahhhhh... this is like some perverted wolf in sheep's clothing lah. LOL!!! Ey must get you girl tonite alredi.

Jenson: Don't waste your time lah. Farker will get shit scared.

Me: LOL!!! Don't tell me dat fella virgin!

Jenson: Yup! He is still a virgin.

Me: No shit! Oi Kenny, how old are you ey?

Kenny: erm ... 35.

Me: wow... that's old but don't worry. I have another buddy. 45 years old and claims to be a virgin but I don't believe 'cos he is one sick perverted horny bastard. But you, I believe.

Jenson: LOL!!!!

Me: Ey, why not I get you laid tonite. After you are done, the ang pow you get from the girl you give back to me? Can?

Kenny: Ang pow?

Me: Farks! You really are a virgin aren't you? Tibai. For virgin first time fark, the girl will give you back ang pow. its a known rule man ...

Kenny: Really?

Me: ey wait. you so farking blurr I better clarify myself. If you are virgin and have your first fark with a "kai" (prostitute), they will give you an ang pow. Not your first fark with your wife or girl friend ok? Farks! I can't imagine you ask your wife for angpow on your first fark! LOL!!!!

Jenson: LOL!!!! Don't waste our money lah. Farker virgin like that and super horny, I think the girl touch him all come out alredi!

Kenny: What come out?

Me: LOL!!!!! What come out? What do you think will come out?

Kenny: Dunno? What?

Me: Man, this dude is really an extinct dinosaur man ...

Jenson: LOL!!!

Kenny: errr guys, what come out?

Me: Farks. For you, I think, in less than 5 minutes its all over. Better don't go prostitute. Farking waste money like that.

Kenny: Why only 5 minutes?

Jenson: LOL!!! Ey lembu, why don't you explain to him.

Me: Ok Ok. Kenny! Have you heard of premature ejaculation or not?

Kenny: Huh? What's that?

Me: Farks! This is going to be a farking long night. What da fark they teach in school during your time lah? You better buy me a bottle of wisky for educating you. LOL!!!!