A customer of mine was at my office and he asked me if he could use the gent's room. Told him where the toilet was and off he went. Couple of minutes later he came back and sat down in the conference room. And then my turn pulak. Tank full. Need to go and empty it. So I went to the toilet.
Kan ni neh ... that pundek seriously has aiming issues. And I think he has some serious health problems as well. No. 1 .... he did not lift the cover. Never mind. No. 2 - He kencing also not straight. Can see the yellow spots of the kencing all over the cover. Damn this guy. Finish kencing already also never clean up. Tiu. Must go out and tiau that fella.
Me: Dei macha ....
Client: yup?
Me: you ah ... you cock eye or what? kan ni neh, when you kencing, aim-lah sikit. what lah you! either that, your cock got parkinson disease is it? shaking all the time?
Client: why lah?
Me: your kencing lah. spray all over the place. aim-lah center. toilet bowl so big, your cock so small ... tiu, you spray until everywhere ... i can see all your yellow kencing spots everywhere. what you doing lah? marking your spot kah? or you playing firemen. spray left right left right. farrrgs!
Client: no lah. u see my eyes. where got cock eye? and where got cock got parkinson disease wan? Got wan ah? I thought hands only shaking?
Me: how I know? I not doctor what. if not cock eye, not parkinson, then what? your cock like those porn star wan is it? bengkok wan ah? like boomerang shape? or like hook shape? tiu ... if your cock not straight, then you stand sideways lah sikit so can aim your kencing properly...
Client: aiyo. sorry lah.
Me: sorry sorry. next time i put one funnel in my toilet. when you want to kencing, cup the damn funnel up your crotch, stick your cock inside and then only kencing.
Client: haha. ok lah. next time i aim properly.
Farrrgs. I think most of you guys agree with me on this. Some dumb fargs just don't care how to kencing straight.
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Wah Lau Eh ...
I haven't blogged about this .... but yeah, baby lembu is coming. In fact, baby lembu is coming out soon! That little monster has caused havoc in my life but I suppose that's what people say, That's Life!
I don't know how to start. When wifey told me that baby lembu was there, I was speechless. No I didn't faint. Anyway ... it was a lot of mixed feelings.
Why I am blogging about it? Actually, I am blogging more on the commercial side of it all. I just realised three things, if you want to get filthy rich, No. 1 Sell Slimming Products to Fat Ass Women, or No. 2 Sell Whitening Cream to those already "Pak Cham Kai" (Steamed White Chicken) Women or ... if you think you are too nobel to be doing No. 1 and No. 2 or you might get karma, you go into No. 3, sell baby stuff.
Since baby lembu is going to come out soon, wifey and I went shopping for his stuff. And man, was I shocked out of my cow hide. Friggin things are so friggin expensive. Take for example, his socks. Kan ni neh, one teeeny tiny pair of socks costs RM6.90!!!! Farks. Its even more expensive than my socks. Hell, in fact, my socks costs like RM10.90 for 3 pairs!!! What da fark man. Its not like them socks have microchips or circuits inside them. And worse part is, you know that those socks won't fit baby lembu in 3 months time. Sheesh ....
And since its your own baby lembu, you can't help but think of safety safety safety. And precisely based on this, them farkers charge you an arm and a leg. Example, strollers. Out of curiosity, I looked at the strollers. Well, some are so friggin cheap you tend to doubt it. You know lah .. the old saying, "Cheap Things No Good, Good Things No Cheap, Best Things in Life are Free" But when you look at some of the expensive range strollers .... my eyes popped out and my jaw dropped. Damn thing can come up to more than RM1,000!!!! Farks! When the sales attendant came and ask me if I needed assistance, I asked, "Miss, where do I put petrol for this? Got remote control ah?" She gives me that blur look. Farks, for this price, damn stroller better be able to transform into an autobot or decepticon or have some missile launchers where I can shoot some missiles up someone's ass if they are blocking me.
My wallet is still bleeding and I believe ... its going to bleed some more. Sighs ....
I don't know how to start. When wifey told me that baby lembu was there, I was speechless. No I didn't faint. Anyway ... it was a lot of mixed feelings.
Why I am blogging about it? Actually, I am blogging more on the commercial side of it all. I just realised three things, if you want to get filthy rich, No. 1 Sell Slimming Products to Fat Ass Women, or No. 2 Sell Whitening Cream to those already "Pak Cham Kai" (Steamed White Chicken) Women or ... if you think you are too nobel to be doing No. 1 and No. 2 or you might get karma, you go into No. 3, sell baby stuff.
Since baby lembu is going to come out soon, wifey and I went shopping for his stuff. And man, was I shocked out of my cow hide. Friggin things are so friggin expensive. Take for example, his socks. Kan ni neh, one teeeny tiny pair of socks costs RM6.90!!!! Farks. Its even more expensive than my socks. Hell, in fact, my socks costs like RM10.90 for 3 pairs!!! What da fark man. Its not like them socks have microchips or circuits inside them. And worse part is, you know that those socks won't fit baby lembu in 3 months time. Sheesh ....
And since its your own baby lembu, you can't help but think of safety safety safety. And precisely based on this, them farkers charge you an arm and a leg. Example, strollers. Out of curiosity, I looked at the strollers. Well, some are so friggin cheap you tend to doubt it. You know lah .. the old saying, "Cheap Things No Good, Good Things No Cheap, Best Things in Life are Free" But when you look at some of the expensive range strollers .... my eyes popped out and my jaw dropped. Damn thing can come up to more than RM1,000!!!! Farks! When the sales attendant came and ask me if I needed assistance, I asked, "Miss, where do I put petrol for this? Got remote control ah?" She gives me that blur look. Farks, for this price, damn stroller better be able to transform into an autobot or decepticon or have some missile launchers where I can shoot some missiles up someone's ass if they are blocking me.
My wallet is still bleeding and I believe ... its going to bleed some more. Sighs ....
Monday, July 23, 2007
Green
Whew ... been a really rough week. Looks like I didn't manage to post any blog at all for the past week.
Here's some pictures I took recently. Its nothing much ... but because I used to hike a lot, views like these makes you go "sighs ......" Its best viewed from the mountain top. Each time I hike, I used to curse .... every damn language that I know, you will hear the foul words. Mandarin, Cantonese, Hokkien, English, Malay, Tamil ... whatever. Just curse and swear as you hike up the mountain with 15kg on your back. I always swear that I will never go back again but its always the same, couple of weeks after I come down, I will go up another mountain.
Its been hard the past 7 years or so ... ever since my knee surgery. I feel miserable that I can't hike or climb anymore. Well ... hopefully one day I will be able to go back to hiking, climbing and playing b-ball.
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